Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Finding You:

Buddha is my Master. It is to him that I go when I am in need or to just be.

It has taken me more than three decades to finally find him. Three decades because my spiritual search had begun when I was just a child. This search led to me to experiment with almost all religions, read philosophical books, question everything that was there to question and do many other things. What I didn’t realize was the fact that the answer was there with me from the very beginning. The signs were always present….only I chose to continue to question.

The life of Buddha in my history school books had always fascinated me. Jainism which was so similar never did. I remember practicing the tenets of Vipassana unknowingly as a kid, a reason why I took to that form of meditation like a fish to water. I have always been strangely pulled to the ruins of Nalanda – the seat of Buddhist learning in ancient times. The first time I went
to Ladakh, I walked into a monastery and lost track of time just sitting there.

Yet I went around looking for a place or a spiritual master who could help me centre myself in my state of restlessness.

Last year, in the high mountains of Arunachal, I sat in an empty monastery while it drizzled outside. A strange sense of home-coming filled me and I silently asked the image of Buddha in front of me – are you there with me? I clearly heard a voice - maybe my conscious, maybe my
imagination – saying ‘I’ve been with you always.’ Tears rolled down unchecked that day.

Later that day in the local market, I found a small statue of Buddha made of black stone with his hands folded near his heart.

It was then that I knew my search had finally ended.