Sunday, June 24, 2012

Looking Ahead:

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I will be what I am or will be where I am.

In the conventional way that our lives are led and the way society behaves at large, I am an abject failure. I am nearing my forties, I don’t hold any post or designation that is of any significance to anyone, I haven’t done anything remarkable in my career, I do not have any savings or assets to speak of and I have steadfastly refused to settle down into a family life.

And with the way the world and life around is going, I often get scared of myself and my situation. Looking back, there are many many things I would have done differently if I had just thought things through. I would have listened to my father and mother more and made different choices in life. I do not know who I would have become but I definitely would have achieved most of the above.

But here I am. My mad search for that elusive something and a desire of not being chained to anything has led me to this state where I have nothing. Some concerned friends tell me to go back and restart...but I have come a long way ahead in my search to now turn back. And strangely, despite having nothing, everything feels right.

Looking ahead, I still cannot see my path or goal clearly but something tells me I am moving in the right direction. All I have now is Faith.

And perhaps ten years down the line, I will come to a stage where I might again say that never in my wildest dreams did I know I will be what I am or be where I am.