Saturday, March 30, 2013

Sometimes I Wonder:

Is this how I wanted the world around me to be? I remember times in those years gone by when I would sit by the window or verandah and dream about a world. Not this. Now that world in my head seems so distant and hazy that I cannot remember a thing in it. But it was definitely not this. This world lacks the innocence of my world, the enchantment of finding a never discovered place, the happiness of aimlessly ambling around, the truth of an everlasting relationship.   

Sometimes I Wonder

Just how resilient am I? Till this omnipotent claustrophobia not of my making finally engulfs me. This noise, people…too many people, this unbearable mass of clutter all around and the ever present evidence of humanity in even the remotest corners. Perhaps there will come a time when somebody will break my reverie on a cold mountain top one day and say ‘Kindly adjust’.

Sometimes I Wonder

How much time till I finally give up? On people and relationships of any kind. Far too many people have far too many hesitations and restrictions of their own making. You can keep extending your hand - for friendship, love, to help, to just give without return – but you will not find another hand extended in return. Too many people are far too busy creating a chimera of extraordinary lives that they will feel empty without.

Sometimes I Wonder

How fast can I change with the changing time? Or will I forever be stuck in the past? My dreams are still there but they were built in the past. That world and this world do not match anymore. There is nothing new in this world. Perhaps like the frequency of changing mobile phones and laptops, I will also have to keep changing my dreams to find the missing newness.     

Sometimes I wonder….how much more….just how much more…..