Is this how I wanted the world around me to be? I remember
times in those years gone by when I would sit by the window or verandah and dream
about a world. Not this. Now that world in my head seems so distant and hazy
that I cannot remember a thing in it. But it was definitely not this. This
world lacks the innocence of my world, the enchantment of finding a never
discovered place, the happiness of aimlessly ambling around, the truth of an
everlasting relationship.
Sometimes I Wonder
Just how resilient am I? Till this omnipotent claustrophobia
not of my making finally engulfs me. This noise, people…too many people, this
unbearable mass of clutter all around and the ever present evidence of humanity
in even the remotest corners. Perhaps there will come a time when somebody will
break my reverie on a cold mountain top one day and say ‘Kindly adjust’.
Sometimes I Wonder
How much time till I finally give up? On people and
relationships of any kind. Far too many people have far too many hesitations
and restrictions of their own making. You can keep extending your hand - for
friendship, love, to help, to just give without return – but you will not find another
hand extended in return. Too many people are far too busy creating a chimera of
extraordinary lives that they will feel empty without.
Sometimes I Wonder
How fast can I change with the changing time? Or will I
forever be stuck in the past? My dreams are still there but they were built in
the past. That world and this world do not match anymore. There is nothing new
in this world. Perhaps like the frequency of changing mobile phones and
laptops, I will also have to keep changing my dreams to find the missing newness.
Sometimes I wonder….how much more….just how much more…..
