The Past Few Days….:

45 degrees in the city, 49.5 degrees in the airport, the house feels like a pressure cooker, outside its like a blast furnace, nights are like the blast furnace has just been switched off, hot water from the tap in the morning, boiling water from the tap at noon, sweat dripping from the folds of the elbow, knee and neck, face itching constantly, my medicated gel toothpaste is now melted and watery, soaked clothes, umpteen baths, roads are empty, a 40km stretch covered in record 1 hr 15 minutes.

I don’t want to think about the stray dogs and cows outside. I can’t look at the kids selling books and car shades at the traffic signal even at noon.

I choose to ignore.

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I have been listening to the song “koi fariyaad” on my comp again and again hypnotized by these lines.

Jaagte jaagte ek umr kati ho jaise
Jaan baaki hai magar saas ruki ho jaise

Ek lamhe mein simat aaya hai sadiyon ka safar
Zindagi tej bahut tej chali ho jaise

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An incident keeps coming back to my mind again and again. It was almost 10 years back. I had just stepped into the professional world and life had a pinkish hue to it. I used to take a chartered bus at 8, take the window seat and promptly go off to sleep as office was some 35kms away.

That particular day when I got up in the bus, I saw that my window seat was already taken…by a woman in her mid thirties (almost the same age as I am today). She looked different from the others who were the typical gossipy “mera husband na..” variety. So I took the seat next to her. The radio was on and playing some very lovely old Hindi numbers. I looked at the woman. She had her head rested on the window and staring unfocused at the world going by outside, completely lost in her thoughts while the songs played on. Her face was completely composed, but tears rolled down silently from her sad eyes. Once in a while she would pick up her white handkerchief and dab at her eyes. She never turned away from the window.

I kept looking at her thinking what could have possibly led to this. An uncaring husband, a love lost, family problems, dreams unrealized? I wanted to shake her and tell her to stop crying, that it’s not worth it, that there is so much more to life.

Now after 10 years more of life and at that same age as her, I remember her tears. If I meet her now, I can look in her eyes and tell her – I Know.